Can you give me a second.....I need to scratch !

Well my dear readers, can you guess what I did yesterday ? Probably not, so let me tell you. I spent the day moving out of our suite into another. I had to bag up everything and tie the bags tight so that if there are any bugs or eggs they will die. In addition to having to bag up every single belonging of ours I also had to REWASH every single piece of clothing, our pillow, blankets, and Chad's stuffed animals that I washed just the day before ! Oh, what a day ! It started with waking up, scratching my arms, legs, fingers, back, ( you get the picture, so I will stop there ) and thinking to my self "OK, hopefully these are all old bites itching" to only roll over and see there on my son's face a huge welt/bite. Arhhhh, that was definitely not there the night before ! So, I marched Chad down stairs ( holding back tears AND fury ) to show the front desk my son's face. There was someone on duty who did not yet know what was going on and when he saw Chad's face I could tell he was stunned. He said he was going to get a professional into the room. He did that and we moved out. (Hopefully without the bugs.) Chad didn't wake up with any new ones that he or I can see but I am not sure about me. I am itching and scratching and I can't remember where every single bite was before ! I have this huge one on my foot and I'm scared it wasn't there before. I am begging God it was. Hold on..... OK, sorry I had to pause to scratch my neck and face.....and now my arm and back......and leg..... And so is my Life As It Is....... P.S. - I would take and post a picture of Chad's face but my camera is in some bag all tied shut along with everything else of ours !

Oh, What A Day !

Today has been a difficult one, to say the least. I had to wash everything we own. $30.00 and a day later and I am still not done. I have clothes hanging up all over to dry. I have still one load left to wash but no cash left to do it. Then to top it off I told Chad we would go to Chick - Fil - A for kids night. We walked there last Tuesday night and Chad had a ton of fun. They have games and misc. activities for the children. Also buy the adult meal and get the children's free. This evening I had to tell Chad we couldn't go because I spent our money doing the wash. All so frustrating ! Why did I have to tear everything out and start washing perfectly good clean clothes you ask ? Well about a week ago Chad started off with bug bites. Then Gene starting getting them and alas I followed. We were not sure what was going on. First we wondered if they were in Gene's new work truck. Gene bombed it last week. Also he took a step further and bombed his room at the house he is staying at in North Carolina. Well, this past weekend we were still finding new bites on us. Last night while on the phone with Gene I told him I didn't think it was in my head and I was being bit while laying there in bed. So this morning I told the hotel manager that I believe we are being bit in our room even though I couldn't see or find anything. I wasn't sure even what kind of bites they were. Spider ? Flee ? All I knew is Chad woke up with 2 welt size ones on his arm and I had welt size ones popping up all over. I saw some guest here have dogs. In fact a little boy walked into our room with Chad a little while ago with a dog in tow. Well in case you didn't guess yet they found some bugs behind the headboard in our room. When we first came here we were staying in another room. When we switched to this room I requested a new bed blanket because the one in here was ehhh. I know it sounds like we are staying in a dump but we are far from it. In fact we could stay in a much cheaper place then here but Gene put us here because he wanted to know we are safe. This place is safer and cleaner then many other hotels here. Anyway, they found bed bugs in our room. Bed bugs ? I didn't even know these things were real. But they are and I ( along with Chad and Gene ) have small and big welt bites all over us. They itch and swell and get red all around......they can make you miserable ! The hotel people said they found them in the beginning stages but anything that came in contact with our bed needs to be washed. I put Chad's blanket from the weekend into our closet here the other night......yup, so every single piece of clothing , blankets, pillows, Chad's stuffed animals......everything needed to be washed in hot water. Uhhhh, as I write this I feel like I am being bit ! I think it is in my head. Please pray it is in my head ! Please pray for me all together ! LOL I am very tired from all this. I didn't even tell my son yet that his stuffed frog ( I had to wash ) no longer works/ ribbitts when you press his arm. To be honest I feel extremely tired from this and just want to sit down and cry....yet I'm afraid if I do some bugs might go on living ! LOL

So, Dear readers if you think about it, please say a prayer for me tonight :)

Chad and Gene down at the boardwalk ***April 25, 2010

Myrtle Beach's New Boardwalk * April 2010

Playing football on the boardwalk.

Here are some pics from yesterday. Sunday, April 25th. Chad had fun playing football with daddy :)

We will get there......

Another week has come and gone. Gene had to wake up at 2:30 this morning to leave and go back to North Carolina for the week. He started sleeping here with us on Sunday nights. It give us one more night with him. One more time in the week I can fall asleep in his arms :) He has to get up extremely early to leave Monday morning and I appreciate him so much for doing this for us. I am so thankful for such a wonderful husband. We have been through a lot and there for a while I really thought satan was gonna have his way with us. But Glory be to God , he didn't ! I am so happy to be married to my best friend. We have been best friends for almost 17 years now. I am so proud of him and all that he has grown to be. Our weekends together are not long enough. My prayer is he will soon be able to work here in Myrtle Beach. They say maybe this summer...... This weekend we all went down to the new boardwalk at Myrtle Beach. It was practically empty. I think with it being Sunday night and a cool one at that. From all the rain earlier. It was kinda chilly and in the 60's with slight winds. Chad and Gene had fun playing football on the boardwalk. I will have to post some pics then. I ask my readers if they think of it to please say a prayer for Gene. There are some guys at his new company that are trying to cause trouble and one actually out right lied about Gene last Thursday. They said all these things that were not true. The truth has come out and they know it was all lies. Eugene has been through so much already. He has had so much stress in the last two years. I wish he wouldn't have to have anymore for awhile. Please just keep him in your prayers. Thank you :) Chad and I walked to the mall, around the mall and back from the mall today. We were exhausted when we got back. I think we will sleep good tonight ! Chad and I are trying to get our school work tied up for the year. Hopefully we can be done in about 6 weeks. I still need to make one last order for our curriculum. Our list of things we need just keeps growing....curriculum, a car so we can get to my brothers wedding in 4 weeks, oh yeah and a house would be nice ! LOL I am praying God really shows himself to us ...... I keep praying and reminding myself God is our provider. I know it will take some time but we will get there ! One day I will read my back blogs and smile to see how far God has brought us :) Blessings.....

Being real with my fears......

Today I am gonna be real and open up a little with my readers. As Adults we rarely talk about our fears. Ex specially as parents. I mean we are suppose to be the brave ones , after all. Early Monday morning I was awakened from a nightmare and found myself laying there thinking of a fear I never thought would be mine. Most of us, as children grew up in an environment that we would never fear the lack of a roof over our heads. I mean a house and food were just the norm. Homeless people were just those we walked by and were told we couldn't help because really they must be drunks or drug addicts. After all, if they weren't they wouldn't be homeless. This last year and a half has opened my eyes up further then ever before. It has also brought a slight hidden fear into my heart. It has broken my heart when on more then one occasion this past year my son has asked me "what if God let's us be homeless , after all God let's the people living under the bridge be homeless...". Now in the past I would have assured my son that of course we would never be homeless while in the back of my mind think to myself, they are only homeless because they haven't tried hard enough. I no longer think that way though, and in the last year have often found myself assuring my son we would NEVER be homeless knowing I was pushing down that same fear myself. I would always tell Chad that we have to many family members and that would never happen to us but then would think where are the family members of those on the streets ? Did they get tired of them ? Did they think they were dragging them down ? Maybe they couldn't afford them anymore. Or maybe they could..... maybe the people on the street started feeling like they were to much of a burden and ...... ? I tell you, I have never thought so much about those people as I do now. When Eugene and I went on our road trip, it was amazing how many people we passed in towns that were homeless. My hearts broke for them. For the first time in my life my heart could relate to them. Now when I looked at them, they reminded me of where we could have been if it wasn't for family. Even as I write this, there are tears forming in my eyes for them. I remember their faces. I remember giving one man a bottle of water and a snack and wishing I could do so much more. One man we passed was holding a sign asking for work. My heart broke because I knew the feeling to so desperately to want work and not have it. It made me sad to think most people , even if they had a job they could offer them would turn their face the other way. At one time, I too, very well could have done the same thing. I think seeing them broke my heart for two reasons. One because I felt so sad for them and two because I felt we were just a disguised "one of them". When Eugene lost his job he wasn't even gonna apply for unemployment because he was so sure he would have a job right away. We had no idea it would drag out so long. Hundreds of applications and resumes later and a year had already passed. At first my eyes were "closed" to our situation. Until one day someone refereed to us as homeless. Then a couple of weeks later someone else. So that was what we had been reduced to. We were the people with a van. LOL When I think of that van, I am so thankful the Lord provided it for us. I hated that thing when it was first given to us but my husband loved it. He was so excited about it ! I remember telling him I would never be seen in that thing. Oh, How God Must Have Laughed ! Little did I know just how much time I would be spending in that thing. On our trip out west I was so thankful we had it to sleep in at night. When camping out west I was very happy to be in that instead of a tent ! Anyway, as you all know Gene does have a job now. I know the Lord will take care of us and restore that which was lost. I know this and yet I had a dream that we were looking for a place to sleep and had to sneak into a closed building so we could have a roof over our heads. I saw Chad there all curled up with a pillow and cover with Gene. I looked at him sleep and had such fear in my heart..... And then I woke up. Once awake, I tried to talk sense into my heart yet the fear wanted to stay. I laid there and explained to my heart, Eugene has a job...we have a place to stay... family would never let us on the streets. I know it will take some time for all of us and honestly I don't think we will ever be the same. In some ways I don't want us to be the same. I don't want us to forget. I want us to be all the more thankful for what we do have. I never want to look at those less fortunate again and think it must be their fault. Later on that same day as my dream, I was taking a walk with Chad he opened up and I realized my son still has the same fear also. He asked me what if we become homeless. What if now that we are in a different state family can't give us a roof....what if we didn't have $ to call them and ask them for help....what if.....what if...... I know as God's children we are not to walk in fear. I know that. I also know as God's children it doesn't mean life will always be easy. I see how God's hand was with us through our whole journey. I feel so blessed ......but I still have fears. Again, I was reminded of that last night. A "scruffy" "hard looking" single dad with two kids moved in down the hall. I shared with Gene on the phone last night, how it is amazing peoples fears can be passed down. Fears you took on as a child can pop up and remind you when you least expect it. Yet what I have learned is our fears can make us prejudice. Just because someone is "scruffy" doesn't mean he will harm me. Yet because of deep hidden fears I get worried. If Eugene was with me here would have been no problem. Because I am here alone, my fears creep in and I automatically go to judge ....... Lord, help me to be led by the spirit and not by my fears.

Getting our own little routine....

Here in our own little corner of the world, we are starting to feel more like we are home. Not that we are in a home of our own yet but in our hearts we feel home. We are where our hearts have longed to be. Our little space, that we have to call ours, is also feeling more comfy every week. I will have to take pictures at some point to post. Chad and I are getting some what of a routine. It feels good to the both of us to know what will be happening each day. Our lives have been without security and routine for so long. It feels nice to be able to grasp onto any security we can ! We are having fun. Eugene has us in a place where we can walk to the mall ( takes us 45 mins to walk there ) A Chick Fil A , Target, Dollar Store, Ross, TJ Max, Walmart, Home Goods, Michael's Art store, ( all within aprox 20-25 minute walk ) and if we want we can also walk to the water park and Broad Way at the Beach ! I have yet to attempt to walk to the beach with Chad. Even though we are only 1 mile from the beach we are right in between two highways. I would need to walk out of the way to walk to the beach on a safer road. I am not sure if Chad can handle it and Eugene isn't sure he wants me to do it anyway cause he is not sure if it would be safe. But there are lot's of places to walk to and that's good because Chad and I are here all week without a car. I can not drive the van. First of all because it is stick shift and second because it is broken ! LOL Eugene is trying to see if he can get me a vehicle at some point. Of course we are still trying to get back on our feet. That will take some time. I am just glad we are finally going on our way up ! LOL And so is our Life As It Is........ Until next time :)

Our tree house and bugs we made !

Chad and I had a ton of fun making our bugs and tree house :) I am not sure who was more disappointed, me or Chad when we ran out of art supplies ! LOL

Free Samples Galore !

I was trying to figure out different ways to save money. I saw in someone elses blog you can go online and request free samples. These are some of my free samples ! I get them on a weekly basis. I request them a few times a week :)

And so it is in our life.......

....... And so it is in our life........ I am back on here to update those who might have an interest. It has been some time sense the last post. Once again life us has thrown us a curve ball...... last time I posted I made mention how excited we were to be soon moving into our home. I thought the next time I would be on here it would be to post before and after pics of our home. But alas it is not so ! I have before and after pics but we have not moved into the home and so there is not any reason to post them. After we had it painted in the colors I chose and were about to move in some things happened. I will not go into detail ( mainly because I want to keep my Christianity ) LOL . No, but for real there were many warning signs popping up and much $ still owed to us ( and still thousands owed to this day ). My family once again found ourselves being ripped from the little bit of security we thought we had. I was disappointed we would not be moving into the house I had come to love. I still find myself missing that little house. Yet I know that it is good we did not move in. I was actually praying and reminding God that until we were officially moved into that house he could still show us something else. Through the pain of loosing that house we also walked away from the biggest income provider we had at the time. There were many reasons to do so. You can only give people the benefit of the doubt so many times. I know we did the right thing though. Many know we were in Pa only because we heard God tell us to go there. From the very beginning I wasn't sure how long we would be there but was willing to make the best of it. I wanted to honor my husband in the decisions he was making. All three of us knew though that some day we wanted to be back down south. In fact, a few days before we knew we would not be moving in that house Chad, who loved that house told me he still wished we could be back in SC. I was praying that if and when it be God's will He allow us back down there. I knew I loved the house and I knew that I absolutely loved Gene being self employed. I knew we could be happy in Pa. I found I no longer strongly disliked Pa like I have in the past yet deep down I knew all our hearts were still in the south. Anyway, I know I am rambling and I apologize :) To try and bring all my thoughts into focus and write just a few of them can be challenging. I am writing this post from Myrtle Beach, SC. We have moved back down. Gene has gotten a job. He is working from a company 2.5 hrs. away from here. He comes home on the weekends. Chad and I are staying at an extended stay. We will need to find a home at some point but we are very happy were we are. At first we felt very disappointed and let down by Gene's job. We felt like we had surrendered everything to the Lord and started the journey almost 2 yrs ago for just this. We felt almost as if God had played a joke on us or forgotten us. Or maybe just didn't really care. It was extremely difficult and to be honest the last time I felt so let down by God was when my Aunt (and close friend) died. Might be hard to understand cause Gene had a job which is what we wanted for so long, right ? Not to go into much detail but we felt let down because through everything we still had each other and were always together. With this job Gene wasn't just taking a huge pay cut from his last job down here but we also wouldn't be together all week. If we were together it would be one thing but to be separated for the job seemed like a slap in the face. We are now more excited. I am trusting God sees a bigger picture in this then we do. And it looks like there will be some opportunities there for Gene. Also they are trying to get an office right here in Myrtle Beach and they already said Gene would be there. They have no idea how long that will take though, because the economy is really slow here in Myrtle Beach. Yesterday at church we sang " Better things are yet to come, better things are yet to be done ". I am taking that !